Hi, my name is Bertie. I am reviewing this short story on behalf of WDC POWER REVIEWERS HOLIDAY AUCTION. These are my opinions, as such, you may take all of my suggestions or none at all. In the end, only you know how you want your work to read.


TITLE: CURSED The title is very appropriate for the story

THEME: The theme reflects a wrongly accused woman and her retribution.

STRUCTURE: This is a well structured story and moves very rapidly.

SPELLING, GRAMMAR, AND PUNCTUATION:MY OVERALL IMPRESSION:

"The Godless town around her . . ."

There is no need to capatilize 'Godless'. It is not referring to a noun.

"In order to silence those rumors, he had pronounced her a witch and had her burned."

To make it more clear who has condemned Lula Bell's ancestor, perhaps you should say: 'In order to silence those rumors, Tom's grandfather had pronounced her a witch and had her burned.'

"The souls of the townsfolk was his payment once the town was destroyed."

'The souls of the townsfolk were . . ." since there are multiple souls involved.


"As if pulled by a force greater than themselves . . ."

Omit 'As if'. This makes the 'force' a more definite thing. They cannot resist.

"To the very spot on which it had begun."

Sentence fragment. Either join it with the previous one using commas, or omit it.

"When the dark clouds had cleared, the rain had stopped, and silence filled the night."

Omit the word 'had' from this sentence.


MY FAVORITE PARTS: I enjoyed the idea that the town got its just deserts.

MY SUGGESTIONS:Only the few corrections to make.

Thank you for permitting me to review your work. Keep writing and offering your work for review. Blessings, Bertie