Review of showering acts of joy



Why I chose this piece Looking through essays. Liked your bio. Newbie review.

Overall impression of piece: These are pretty deep thoughts for a teenager. I can't say I was thinking of these at your stage

Grammatical and spelling errors: deteriorate mispelled I think, escape clutches. I don't know what you mean there. day-to-day with hyphens. Mistakes like it's a crime is a clause and not a sentence/ This is not really a sentence. "To describe something as weak by proclaiming that it is possesses less than what it is" You could say you proclaim to give it a subject and a verb.

What I liked? The thought process is definitely here. A lot more profound thinkers then you have already thought. Paul in the Epistles says my strength is made manifiest in my weakeness. they say he wandered around Europe with a supreme disability or illness. Some say blindness. Others say malaria

What I disliked You start with its weakness and don't actually says what it is. It is very important, whatever it is. I would spell it out. Need to say what taking scores is. Maybe take scores of years to process? Denizens generally refers to a specific locale like denizens of the deep

How the piece made me feel The thoughts are here. No one can take that away from you. They are pretty jumbled and need to be bbrought out in a more organized way. Ask yourself, What are you trying to say, to whom? If you ever want to do a rewrite, let me know? Check out my port. I write a lot of essays

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains