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 Review #3699251 |
 | This Is It  [18+] Picking Up the Pieces  |
| (3.0)  Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! Title: This Is It Author: Charice Type: Poem  First Impression:At first you write that the poem’s speaker couldn't care less how much the other person hurts, and then you wrote that they’d forgiven that person. Then the speaker immediately go back to an angry tone. It just seems that he/she might need a little more time before they actually do forgive. Well there is certainly a lot of anger and hurt within the poem, the language suggests that the wound is not at all healed. Almost every line had a bitter tone, that of being hurt, betrayed and made to appear the fool. That is certainly an understandable reaction. Though I realize this poem was written mainly to get feelings off your chest, there are a few minor typos that you might want to address, to make it more polished:  Suggestions: Line one:I couldn't careless I think you need "care less" - two words. Line Three:And my broke heart I assume you want “broken”. Line Four:My geuss is “guess” Line Five:If I was freezing and cold you probally, “probably” Line Thirteen:Taking whats left of me “what’s” (with the apostrophe.) Line Fifteen:This memory isnt made to last because “isn't” (with the apostrophe.) Line Twenty-four:everyday “every day” - Everyday means commonplace. Every day means each day. Line Twenty-eight:Obsorb I think you want “absorb”.  Final Thoughts:I think most of us can understand the feelings that come into play in this poem, and I am sure in time that feeling will lessen. At least I certainly hope it will. ** Image ID #1833995 Unavailable **
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