The first three paragraphs went along fine, at least until the final sentence. I was enjoying the story, trying to find the significance of Mark eating the bug, assuming there would be either a dramatic, satirical, or ironic moment. Suddenly the story shifted. Time leaped ahead and we see Mark as an adult. It could have worked, even if it were a sudden, jarring shift. It could have taken on a Kafka-like turn toward symbolism, and you could have made a point about almost anything, and it could have been intriguing and different.

Unfortunately, it seems your interest in the story changed, and you turned it into a sort of diatribe. It was an entertaining one, as you poked a stick at society, modern culture, our obsession with the entertainment society and generally anything connected with modern life. it's not that I didn't enjoy the show, or in some measure or another, agree with you. It's just that this tirade seemed disconnected from the majority of the story. I suppose that bug which he ate, is symptomatic of man, that we all swallow a bug called modern culture, and it grows inside us and eventually turns us into real life Gregor Samsas, unable to do anything but loathe our wretched existence. While that might be true, there seems to be no connection to that bug, and without it, the story remains fragmented and for me, disconnected.

I think the best satire is told in a witty or straight-faced manner. What is that old saying? You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar? I guess that is true with a lot of things, writing included. I suppose what I m saying is, if you toned this done, made it fit into the rest of the story, it would be a lot more persuasive, and convincing. It would even seem less like an agenda.

So while I liked both parts of the story, I did so for very different reasons. The first as a potential, metaphorical tale, the second because the vitriol oozes from fingers onto the screen. It might be one-sided, and just a little irrational, but it is entertaining, and it shows that you care about how life seems to have regressed. I just think this needed to be two different stories.