I quite liked this poem. It's told in a straight-forward, logical manner and from line one until the last, it has a premise that it sticks to and doesn't drift from it, like many poems of a similar vein.

There is a simple, but important message too. Not only are these two jealous of one another, but in their jealousy they don't take the time to see the other person's perspective, and so they continue to follow their jealous trail, when maybe if they just looked and tried to understand, that jealousy might seem preposterous.

I like the meter, the rhythm allows the poem to be read smoothly as it transitions toward the end. The rhyming is subtle which is important with rhyme, which shouldn't intrude upon the poem's message and style.

The poem sort of reminds me of a vortex, or rather the story within it does. These two characters seems to be spinning out of control, slowly allowing themselves to b swallowed downward, until nothing decent of them remains. And I guess that is the point, that jealousy carries such a power as that, to swallow us whole.

Yeah, I liked it.