Reviews are limited by at least two things: The reviewer's knowledge/background and the author's temperament. Sometimes the reviewer's understanding and interpretation of a piece misses the mark. When the author believes this is the case, he can become hurt or angered. Please don't be. This review is neither a condemnation of your work, nor an extolment. It's just my opinion, nothing more.




I do like the imagery here, which is quite effective, but if I hadn’t read your caption under the title I’d have no idea that this was about a woman running away from her betrothed and into the arms of his rival. I can only guess that you intend to add more, I hope so, for the writing, though brief seems good.
This story itself, is really too brief right now to form much of an opinion of. It could use a lot of description, a back story, and well, the betrothed, lol.
I do like the last part of the last line:

not noticing the dark cloud that overtook and devoured the bright star.

There is a subtlety there that tells the reader that either a bad situation or bad news lies ahead. And of course foreshadows what will obviously be the part of the story about the woman running off with the man’s rival.

Is it ok to hate her? lol. Well it is hard to find her a sympathetic character, at least until we know more about Thani-El. It may turn out that he’s no bargain.

Finish it, I think it has some good potential.