Reviews are limited by at least two things: The reviewer's knowledge/background and the author's temperament. Sometimes the reviewer's understanding and interpretation of a piece misses the mark. When the author believes this is the case, he can become hurt or angered. Please don't be. This review is neither a condemnation of your work, nor an extolment. It's just my opinion, nothing more.




There is certainly a measure of suspense here, and just as certainly a lot of questions that need to be answered.

As you said, it's just a few sentences, but if you want readers to have more of an opinion, you'll want to add a somewhat longer excerpt for their analysis.

I do have a few questions:

What Amber just witnessed she could not take back,

I'm not sure how anyone can take back what they witnessed. I suppose they might want to give back, but take back?

How about saying:

What Amber just witnessed she could never erase from her brain. or some such phrase.

I also don't get how they are just talking at the beginning, and they are leaving to go home and suddenly she had some memory etched on her brain and a fear that she may be next. The beginning and the end don't seem to agree.

Finally:

and the only thing she could do was hope she wasn't next.

I'm not sure how that relates to what came before it. This is where some expanding of your story is a must. It will explain to your reader what is happening, so that when you make statements like that, the reader understands.

I do like the mystery here. I just think this excerpt needs to be a little bit longer to show your reader the full impact of your suspense. Give the reader a little more to work with and you will be rewarded with his praise.