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 Review #3738298 |
| This is a review from Let's Help Each Other Grow!  Plot and Emotional Impact:  Your story is a great short shot for a contest. The ending was interesting. The main character thinks he is getting sacked, when he is not. But he manages to mess it up, poor guy! I liked the main character's nerve and courage, or was it foolishness? He figured he had nothing to lose, so why not speak his mind? Oops!  What I liked:  You did a nice job with the delivery and the flow. I know you were writing this with a very strict word limit. The storyline was something everyone can identify with, trying to keep a job in this economy. Smart! Clever! Well done!  Suggestions:  You had a few minor mistakes with tense and punctuation. A sentence has a subject and a verb and is a complete thought. If you use a comma when a period is needed, it is known as a comma splice. I hope that helps you. I have pointed out a few suggestions below. I am here to help you. Please take whatever helps you from my review and discard with the rest.  of Mark as I waited*grape* semicolon, it felt like hours. I had seen the signs on the balance sheets period, the cuts were inevitable. Listen—” he spanned around. I looked at him in disgustperiod “You're you're a fool Markperiod, you always were.” “I wasn't going to make you redundantcomma” he stuttered. “Look, Mark I’m sorryperiod” I tried to back pedal. This was a great short story with a build up and a nice solid plot. I enjoyed the ending and found myself chuckling. Oops! He made a mess of things, didn't he? Keep writing! You are doing a great job on WDC! I'm glad you're here! ~Golden ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
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You responded to this review 07/27/2012 @ 2:06pm EDT