%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #3777323 |
 | Invalid Item  [] |
| (4.0)| Hello ~*Arpita*~  , my name is wizzie.   I read your "Invalid Item" , and want to share my thoughts with you.    Please take what I write and know it is for you to do with as you wish.   I enjoyed reading this story and found it interesting and intriguing. While reading, I could hear the tone and voice of the narrator, self-described from India, which made it all the more appealing. Your story-line flows well and tells the tale of Lady Ranu, who wishes for another life in another place. The underlying message seems to be that Lady Ranu's son wishes the same, and becomes as absent to her as she wished to be from her younger brother. But in the end, Lady Ranu comes full circle and returns to her home, brother and the now older version of one young man whose interest she spurned. One suggestion I have is: Once you have introduced a character by their full name, then further references to that individual can be made by only their "first name" or title "Mrs. Chatterjee", for example. I like the "reintroduction" of the admirer from Lady Ranu's past. But I wonder why he doesn't tell her how he feels instead of being satisfied to continue to admire her over a cup of coffee? Is he afraid she won't accept him now, as before? Great story! Thank you for sharing your talent. I wish you luck on your writing endeavors and please, please, Keep on writing! This has been a review affiliated with: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
You have not yet responded to this review.