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 Review #3802018 |
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| (4.5)| Hi there sssam-on the way back  . I am reviewing this entry as a part of "I Write in December-January-February"  Plot It is so truth. WE always are running from one place to another. Even on holidays, we have thousand things to do and many destinations to cover. We all have forgotten the art of doing nothing. It is so difficult to just sit back and relax and enjoy our lives and just notice the day pass by. I really enjoyed the idea behind the story. It was interesting way to drive the point home. Character Written in frst person, the only thing we know about the character is that it is her holiday and she usually leads a busy life. This vacation is a kind of novelty for her. Though the character is not detailed, I feel you have included sufficient details to connect the readers with the character. Description You have given enough description of the town to tantalize the reader. I could see your character sitting on the beach and enjoying the sunshine. Good job with the way you described the small town. Language and Grammar I mostly found the piece correct. I just have few small suggestions, which are more of typos~  except its' solitary~ The single inverted comma is not needed here.with the ear-to-ear smile.~ I think this should be "an ear -to-ear smile".last nights furious ~ This need to be corrected to "night's".I had woken no with no needs or wants~ The first "no" is extra here.no scheme, no chores it was as if I had nothing to do ~ You need a dash or period after "chores" here to break the sentence.Favorites and Not-so-favorites  I enjoyed the way you described the town with one of everything. It added to the beauty of the story. I also enjoyed the scene of I-phone ringing, which added a thread of reality to the story.Other thoughts and Suggestions It was a wonderful story, which reminded me that I have four days of vacations coming up in which I do not need to do anything. Probably I will try the "nothing" funda.  I am giving this story a rating for four and a half for the originality of its concept. Thank you for writing and sharing it. Keep Writing  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" . 
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You responded to this review 12/28/2012 @ 6:51am EST