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Review #3825567
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Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: | (4.0)
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Hi musicalpoet -

As a newer member of this site, I wanted to take a moment to welcome you to Writing.Com. Today is actually my 10th anniversary of being a member here, and I'm celebrating by hosting "SoCalScribe's 10th Anniversary Gala" Open in new Window. and giving away several prizes throughout the day. I've selected you as a recipient of one of 10 reviews I'm handing out today, which also comes with 10,000 Gift Points for you to spend as you please. *Smile*

I'm enclosing the following review for your consideration, but please keep in mind that these comments are my opinion only, and you as the author have the right to use or disregard any of them as you see fit.


WHAT WORKED

*Bullet* I'm really impressed with the emotion in this piece. It really evokes that familiar sense of angst and helplessness that so often overwhelms us when we're teenagers. I really connected to the themes of this poem thanks to your vivid, descriptive writing. *Thumbsup*

*Bullet* The structure of your item was particularly effective. With short, impactful lines, you were able to keep my interest through out, each one revealing a little more about the theme and tone of the narrator's life experience.


WHAT COULD BE IMPROVED

*Bullet* I would suggest maybe starting the poem with a similar sentiment to the end (about wanting to be someone and not be wasted space). It's such a strong emotional theme to the poem, I think leading and ending with it would create a nice dovetail effect to the piece.


OVERALL IMPRESSION

Overall, I really enjoyed this poem. You're a talented writer and really did a great job of capturing the angst and emotion of someone who doesn't feel like they matter. Well done! *Bigsmile*


I hope that you've found my comments useful. Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your material, and again, welcome to Writing.Com! If you'd like to introduce yourself over at "SoCalScribe's 10th Anniversary Gala" Open in new Window., please feel free to click on the link or the image at the bottom of this review and stop by to say hello! *Bigsmile*

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,


SoCalScribe

Please check out these items:
"Unofficial Erotica Newsletter Group" Open in new Window.
"The Dark Society" Open in new Window.
"Blogocentric Formulations" Open in new Window.

Logo for SoCalScribe's 10th Anniversary Gala activity.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 02/20/2013 @ 8:50pm EST
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3825567