Please note - any suggestions are my personal opinion.
Feel free to use them or ignore them.

Title: "Invalid Item" 

Author: sssam-on the way back

Reviewed by: KerrieAnnS

How I came by your work: I am here to review your work as part of the final week of "I Write in December-January-February" 

First Impression: A fun poem with a bouncy rhythm. I enjoyed reading it.

Rhythm: As I mentioned above, the rhythm is bouncy, almost in a sing song sort of way. It is very cheerful and fun to read.

Flow: I think you have a good flow through most of the poem, but there is one line where you repeat a word, albeit in a different form. I feel this prevents a good flow, as I felt the need to reread the line to make sure I had read it correctly:

Hearing this suddenly triggered such sudden shame.

Rhyme: You use rhyming couplets throughout. It is a simple form of rhyme that works well here. It does not challenge the reader to follow along, but smoothes their path. It is comfortable and pleasant.

Grammar, Punctuation, and Spelling: I like that you chose to use punctuation, many poets don't, and I feel that it adds to the poems flow. I would suggest maybe breaking up some of the lines with commas as they don't naturally flow from one to the other, they are separate statements.

What I liked most: The twist, I was expecting a poem about a magical first meeting, where love blossomed. Or maybe even a desire that could not be quenched because they find someone else. But a relative? I didn't see that coming! I love surprises

Conclusion: A lovely, short but sweet poem, with a great twist as the finale. I am fond of the acrostic form and I feel you did an excellent job here! Keep writing





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .