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(any opinions contained within are strictly my own, to do with as you will. Keep what works and toss the rest)


Howdy from up North! I am reviewing your piece as a part of "The Kiwi Review Challenge! - closed" 

I enjoyed this well written politically and historically oriented piece. Your choice to include a reference to the history of One Tree Hill was a wise one. Having devoured the brief history lesson from Wikipedia, I re-read your work with a much greater understanding of everything you were referencing. (Great job summing up the history without saying directly what that history was, by the way) This is intelligently and emotionally written. The diction is excellent.

I love the far-reaching honesty of the lines 'tells/Of how we would prefer to fight/Than love the beauty of the height.'

My suggestions:
'rend' should be 'rent'
The two stanzas where you use 'Dark, dark it is on' may flow better if you edited the wording to 'Dark; it's dark on' In that same vein, the lines 'The lights of Auckland glow' feel short by a syllable or two. Perhaps add a word/descriptor to this line to balance the meter?

Thankyou for sharing this enjoyable work. Write On!


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .