Hello Fi

Review of "Invalid Item" 

General Comments and Emotional Impact

A wonderful poem and dedication to all soldiers all over the world, those who fought for freedom and right causes. Every single line is beautiful and original. I would prefer the longer version than the short one, but if I had read the short one first, I would have felt that it was apt and the longer one was just stretched. Well written.

Form and Rhyme Scheme

There is rhyming pattern of the form a,a,b,b and the rhythm is consistent throughout the poem.

Title and description

The title fits the content very well and the description below is interesting.

Suggestions and mistakes

No mistakes in punctuation, spelling or grammar can be found.

My Favourite Lines

"Would a whisper stir that day
As I was lowered to the clay?
Would they lay a rose for me
Beside my grave to memory?"

Perfect ending stanza, I love the picture of a soldier holding the rose too,it goes perfectly with the poem.

Overall

A very good poem so I am giving it 5 stars.

Thank you for sharing your work. Keep writing!


~Princess Zelda


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