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Review #3839941
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Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: | (5.0)
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Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: thank you so much for sharing this, you are a strong woman indeed...

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone:storytelling, reflective, creative

*Suitheart* What I liked: use of common childhood games to describe the atrocities you went through

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)


*BulletG*As I held my cards, his fingers tore youth's geranium
His unfamiliar touch befuddled my cranium
held my Cards,...befuddled my Cranium; really like reference of your youthful flower....I'm afraid to ask but I wonder if he only touched you with his fingers, or....

*BulletB*My daddy, Sorry stepdad, Mr. Holier than Thou
Let’s go down Memory lane so I can tell you how
Mommy had married an unknown pedophile
one would think that would be every mothers nightmare, I thank my blessed stars that my mom was VERY cognizant and aware of this sort of thing....my step Dad was a fine mental abuser but he never touched me inappropriately

*BulletR*A man of the church, the Life he led was double
Devious liar and a master manipulator
Like winning Chess, his strategies were greater
again really great word usage, if flows nicely when read; amazes me when people assume they know a person simply because they go to church and/or are nice to your face, ridiculous....I don't care who they are, you've no clue what they're like behind closed doors...

*BulletV*Never got caught and none believed my cries
With each unheard outcry, a part of me died
this is the saddest and most infuriating part of your tale for me, I just don't understand it, I'm not at all surprised to hear about abuse but it BAFFLES me to think someone would believe you made this up....what? why? I just don't get it....

*Bullet*He was a Mastermind and I could never win
My body his Candyland, 4 years it's his to sin
tragic to read but beautifully written

*BulletG*Stark silence was my life to prevent a Family Feud
....
I was alone and alone, I had to fight my battle
So I sunk his Battleship, left him without a paddle
Every hit was a day of my missed childhood
So don’t play the game unless the rules are understood.
please tell me you physically fought this man off one day, that's what it sounds like and I LOVE it! don't play the game unless you know the rules! don't start no stuff won't be no stuff....you would have been justified in going Lorena Bobbitt on him, and you'd have gotten off I'm sure...

A few parting comments...
I hope you have a strong/healthy network of people around you now to aid in your recovery.
When you have a moment please read and review "Being a support structure for the abused.Open in new Window.; I could really use help/feedback on how best to be there for my friends and fam who have been abused

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

This Has Been A Review By: AFaith A WDC Power Reviewer


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