G'day The ScaryMaster
I'm reviewing "Space Holder"  as a student of "Invalid Item" 

First up, I'm fully aware that anyone with any brains would not even attempt to review this, as it's not a display of literary significance, right?
And the Review Tip#2 at the top of this tool screen tells me that "Honest Opinions are what help writers improve".

So, why am I here stubbornly typing up a review of this"Space Holder" ?
Well, here's the thing. Being a writer and a novelist, an activity I'd rather do than eat a square meal (mostly);I must be empty headed to continue being a dirt poor novelist too.

I decided on a review challenge;
What could I say about these few banal words, and the writer of this non existent place with the only comment being that it's giving the rest of the numbers a beginning.

The words that greeted my eyes when I nonsensically clicked on the link to this item# have an irony. And with the sad face backing up the statement I have to agree, it really is just a "Space Holder" 

But then I began to look around this immovable software entity, or whatever it is, and saw the intriguing dates of manufacture and the latest modification date. Now there must be a story behind this, please excuse the pun.

The item is rated E as you'd imagine is fitting, can't see anything pornographic or of graphic nature about it. The yellow face is a tad bright I guess, but...no that's within acceptable parameters.
The size is 0.45 KB; quite a tiny file I think.
Then we see that date, December 31st, 1969 at 7:00pm. 1969?
I'm not a computer nerd ok? Not quite THAT crazy :P

So, I asked the eminently intelligent Mr Google, "What happened on this date, please? And this is what he said!

The Unix epoch is the time 00:00:00 UTC on 1 January 1970. This is the reference point for all time stamps. When you use PHP's date/time functions, you're always working with the number of seconds since the epoch. Time 0 is the epoch, and you (or your web server) must be on the east coast of the US, which is 5 hours behind UTC time.

So apart from being the beginning of programming dates etc I know nothing more.
I'll leave it to those who know what they are talking about, instead of waffling on like I am here.

Story Strengths:
The strengths of this item are surprisingly mammoth. Enormous to unimaginable heights and depths. Almost as gigantic and far reaching as God's mercy, or his sea of forgetfulness that stretches as far apart as East is from the West.

We know this, (the strength of this item) because its still here.
It is still remaining an item and in its place since, well, since at least 2002 January 19th at 3:56pm, just like pi is still a number that goes on and on infinitely.

I'm overlooking the words "no longer needed" as I don't want to hurt this item's feelings, virtual or otherwise.

Suggestions:
You could use politically correct terminology, instead of saying "old chap" and say aged British person. But that's possibly still political even though essentially correct.

And maybe I'm just trying to be clever and the whole thing is completely stupid, even trying to review this. Ok, I'll finish up soon then.

Punctuation, Spelling & Grammar:
All seems in order here, commas in better places than mine no doubt. I always get confused with where and how, consulting the punctuation helper link that Hannah gave us in the Newbie Paper Doll Gang class.

As far as commas go, all the advice is there but it's like knowing where the spark plugs and the windscreen wiper blades go but you still prang the car into the nearest power pole. Yes prang is a word, at least in Australia. There's another bone of dotty contention, American and British tables of punctuation e.t.c but no Aussie. Tsk Tsk I shake my mousey head.

Well, I digress and this review has already bored every reader to bitter recriminating tears of burning hatred.

Anyway, as a joke, this review is probably ridiculous but I couldn't go past saying something about this dusty little corner of WDC where I doubt many people would venture. Only bored idiots with nothing to do.

I give this item a perfect rating, unlike the other 91!(?)star givers I see, who thought it was less than perfect. Strange. Very strange place and oddish people those novelists and writers. A weird crowd...

On reading back over this review, I realised I haven't said anything about the writer. This is already over 4000 characters and information about the writer of this "Space Holder"  will have to wait until another time; that is another story and a long one no doubt.

I send gp's so that any outraged anger at this waste of everyone's time will hopefully be expunged. ex·punge [ik-spuhnj] Show IPA
verb (used with object), ex·punged, ex·pung·ing.
1.to strike or blot out; erase; obliterate.
2.to efface; wipe out or destroy.

Many thanks for sharing your work and your valuable efforts writing this piece.

Sparky
THE PDG Rockin Reviewers Group



Words have more impact if they drip onto the page..