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 Review #3853203 |
 Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! Title: Herbert?! Author: CH18  Type: Short story  First Impression: I didn’t expect that! I was with Emma, expecting a dog or at least something slightly less unusual, although the build-up of the story should have told me otherwise. The surprise at the end was nicely done, as was the way you built the readers’ anticipation. The aunt seemed like she was quite a character. I have heard of people naming their car or their house, but their furniture? The main character said that she wasn’t very close to her aunt but knowing that she did do that suggests that she did know her quite a bit. It adds some humour to the scene that otherwise would have been a little sombre in tone, but it did it in a subtle way and it didn’t give anything away about the ending. I only have a couple of small suggestions, if you are interested in editing this story.  Suggestions: or serpent, that Aunt Eta kept hidden I don’t think you need the comma there. I just can’t bare the idea You need “bear” (meaning to stand or tolerate) there instead of “bare.”  Final Thoughts: I enjoyed the read, I thought the writing was good, the characters, although the story was brief, were nicely drawn, and overall the read was very entertaining. Good luck in the contest! ** Image ID #1833995 Unavailable **  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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