Thank you for entering this story in round 57 of the Weekly Quickie contest. I am reviewing as the owner of the contest but not as a judge. So my comments are based just on my personal opinion of the story and obviously had no weight in the decision. I appreciate you entering and hope to see more entries from you in the future.

First Impression:
An interesting approach to the concept of sirens. Often time it's the sirens that are these haunting, luring creatures who know what they are doing, though there is some variance to how appealing they are in the physical sense based on the story. You took a different approach in his point of view in that they sing the men to their death as they lure ships in but haven't seen a live man. They are attractive but naive.

I had to make an effort to suspend my belief on this story because we are dealing with "sirens" after all, but there were some parts of the story that was hard to believe for me. Part of it had to do with the situation. The stranded from ship wreck, unconscious, wake up and be able to perform the varying sexual acts came off a little questionable to me. I know there is an element to fantasy but as far as reading, I do notice such things. Others may not have this issue.


Characters/Story:
The character, main one, did have an interesting personality. While I'm not always keen on the too confident types, he did well considering the situation he found himself in. He does hold up his end of the story and there wouldn't be any erotica without him because the sirens don't know what to do in that realm. On the other hand, I suppose the idea of having three "attractive" women to show them the way will work for some readers who like that fantasy. And then of course the having women that adore the sex he can provide and won't ever want him to leave part adds to that.

Story isn't complicated really with the stranded guy, hot women he introduces to sex, spends days with them then escapes and is left with the fond memory. Though his leaving is the other questionable factor for me. So, it's a place people don't know about with sirens that sink ships and he can just take a makeshift raft and survive? The questions drew me out of the story with that ending.

Other Notes:
A couple minor notes based on my opinion during the times I read over the story.

"The helmsmen, may god have mercy upon him, must have..." - This is a minor thing but depending on what religion your going with you may want to capitalize "God" or pick one if going with a multiple deity system. In general if it's within the Christian focus then it's God and if not going specific in a polytheistic it's a lower case but as "gods".

Adverbs/Weak Words: This is something to consider, in particular when writing flash fiction where every word has more weight. These are words that end in -ly and words like "little", "seems", other forms of the word "seem", and "felt" for example. You do use a fair number of adverbs in this flash fiction piece. You start off fine but for the middle part and most of the erotic actions you have a tendency to add words like "quickly" "breathlessly" and "enthusiastically". If it had been a couple of them, that is fine, however the more you have the less effect the adverb has in the story and it becomes a weak way to show something. It's something many of us have to work on and what I do in my edit is getting rid of a good portion of adverbs and weak words like the one I mentioned here. Taking them out will make the story stronger and sometimes you don't need to replace the words, just cutting them out which will help direct the word count for more useful bits of information.



Overall, good work with an interesting premise of the sirens for a supernatural prompt. Something a little different, which is nice to see.

Thank you for entering the Weekly Quickie. Keep writing!




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .