Hi AWheatley ,

Happy Birthday from WDC

The Heart of the Story/Poem:
A story about someone that misses another that it has affected them mentally,physically and emotionally.

Things That Might Make It Better:
It feels as if it needs more of a climax to the piece. Like somewhere in the middle it needs an extra push almost to the edge of insanity. Then maybe more at the end about your support person.

Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar:
The semi-colons are a bit distracting in the piece for me as a reader.

Things I Like:
I like the part where you describe the heaviness of the legs and the aching in the arms. I can relate to that feeling.

The things you describe in this piece are the picture of depression. If anyone has never felt it before they need to read your story. Keep writing because you tell a good story.

Grace L
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