Review of showering acts of joy member to member

Why I chose this piece: Anniversary

Overall impression of piece I like poetic work expressed in a non poem form. I see tremendous advantages.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Uneven margins kind of work for me. It shows me that this is something different and I can accept that. Untainted by problems paragraph really isn't a sentence. You have two clauses hooked together by a semicolon. You are missing a verb.

What I liked? I can see this. I can feel it along with you. I think that is good poetic expression. The reactions to what is going on are all there too.

What I disliked: Two things approach cliche. Trials and tribulations and essence of time. for essence of time why not describe it.. Maybe the other could be made of tears and laments. This life is not for sissies.

How the piece made me feel: Great conclusion. I think you are describing an Ephiphany moment. God peaks in; why not share it?

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of review today.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **