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 Review #3877698 |
| ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Happy WDC Anniversary  The Heart of the Story/Poem: A sister and an older brother's friend make peace with each other and become more than friends in the end. Things That Might Make It Better: What is the sister's name? The only thing I suggest is to give the sister more feelings or just a hint at having some softer tender feelings for Sean. Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar: I suggest a comma after the word there in this sentence. You wrote: There all competence ceased. In this sentence I believe you meant "I" instead of it. You wrote: “Sure, it get it: we just...walk back through all that bush.”  Things I Like:A roller coaster of a ride in this story.I love the mouth-to-mouth line. A wonderful tweener story. A happy ending, yet gets the message across about kayaking alone and to know the currents before striking out. I have read many of your works. You are so creative and write very well. Keep writing! Grace L ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 07/15/2013 @ 7:20pm EDT