Hi there, Russell! My name is Jordan, and I'm here to review your winning entry from "Invalid Item" .

This was a very enjoyable read! Starting off, I immediately found myself embroiled in conflict, caught up in an epic battle for life between two powerful combatants. This is a good way to ensure that your readers keep on going. I believe that one of the most important parts of a short story, or in this case, flash fiction, is the opening incident. I prefer to think of this as the opening action, I find that it is a more apt description. I myself am guilty of loving drawn out openings in novels, I hate it when things are rushed- I'm here to write novels that will stand the test of time, not sale books to impatient children.

Your opening incident and the conflict both occur at the same time, they enter our perceptions simultaneously. There is not really any exposition here, no area for us to learn the background of our story and characters- however, with a flash fiction like this, I don't really think it necessary. Your climax is good, Selra sees her chance and takes it, knowing that she will win at the cost of her life- the mark of a true hero. The resolution is obvious and works rather well. The ending is not really decreasing action, but works just as well. Nice!

I found your characters to be realistically portrayed, though I would like to know more about them. This is tied to my minor issue with the plot, which could do more to let us know what has led our characters to their current situation. It is not required in this instance, but would help. However, from what you give me, I can infer that the dragon destroyed a city and she is there to stop him from terrorizing others. One high note regarding your characters is that I really connected with Razeth. The name and others factors regarding this dragon really brought him alive for me, he seemed more human than beast, and that makes a reader question the usual good and evil guidelines.

As usual, I have a few suggestions regarding grammar and punctuation:

In the third paragraph, with utmost clarity is a real sticking point for me. It seems as though there is a word missing here. I would suggest adding the in between the two words in question. Is this an actual error? That's iffy to say. However, correcting this area would increase the flow of the sentence, thus bettering the reading experience. Modern readers are lazy, they don't want to have to work for it- the easier you make it to read, the more the readers will appreciate your prose.

Using grime-encrusted to describe the ground in paragraph three seems a bit redundant to me. Our characters are embroiled in battle outdoors. I mean, people get that the ground is going to be dirty. It just seems to be unnecessary wordiness.

Overall, I found this to be well written and pleasant to read. Please keep up the great work!

All the best,

-- Oceanborne

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