Hi dragonwoman,

Thanks for sharing this piece, and congrats on the Daily Flash win! I love the elf's retirement idea, and the subtle way you got it across. Your image of the main character is incredibly cute, and I felt for the poor little elf guy who was afraid to face his wife.

I'd like to offer the following criticism, but please bear in mind what follows are the opinions of one reader. I hope that you'll use what helps and disregard the rest.

"in her best superior me voice" - I know what you mean here, but it took me a moment to figure out the wording. Also, using "superior me" is kind of a tell. Perhaps showing something about her voice that implies to the reader her tone and attitude would make them feel closer to your poor redundant elf.

He was better off sitting here on this park bench he’d picked at random, then going home right now. - Here, you want "than," not "then." The second implies he sat down and went home after. "Than" is the one you want for comparisons.

The wife's words in the first paragraph aren't spoken out loud at the moment, but rather recalled. In this type of scenario, the convention is usually to italicize rather than use quotation marks,

I love your description of the elf, but felt like it might be more effective if it was peppered in with some action. Perhaps while he's worrying, he wipes his sweaty palms on his green suit, and adjusts his candy cane tie (like when you have him wipe his bald head. Nice)? It's just something to think about that might make your reader feel more like they're seeing the elf for themselves, especially now that the contest is over and word count isn't an issue anymore.

Why buying food alone in the North would eat up most of his monthly income. - This sentence felt a little awkward to me. Perhaps a comma after "Why", and maybe consider omitting the part about the North? Your reader already knows the locale from the context.

He bent laboriously - Rather than the adjective, perhaps a description of his labors would make his struggles feel more immediate? Like maybe a thick groan, or a shortness of breath, or something?

And, again, I love your ending. The last two paragraphs are an excellent reveal.

Thanks again for sharing this story! I'm glad I had the chance to read it, and I hope my comments are helpful.

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .