I selected your story to review through the Read a Newbie Forum at WdC. Welcome to Writing.com. I believe this to be one of the most supportive writing forums on the internet and I hope your experience here will spark lots of creativity and joy for writing. It was a real pleasure reading your story and I am glad to give you some impressions I have of your piece as well as a short review.
 
My review is based solely on my opinion and feelings. While I may suggest some structural alterations, I prefer to lend my feelings and impressions about a story in the hopes that they may be of some help and encourage further thought about what has been created. Please take what you think is appropriate for your work and disregard the rest.
 

Overall Impression
 
I enjoyed the mysterious, surreal quality of your prose and the near poetic visuals that describe the formation of a new place in time and space: a “…thousands of years of peace,” to the Adorian universe. An opening image that is startling and wonderfully vivid “…eyes of a burning sunset and scales like the charred remains of a forest fire,” not only increases my knowledge of this dark moment in space and time, but also sets a tone for the rest of the story as it unfolds.
 
Interest and Pace
 
“Her song a healing harmonious one that rippled across the obsidian void of tiny sparks and voiceless whispers.” This intriguing line stimulates my interest both in the story and you as the writer. What do you see? I am interested in your view and I prepare myself for a fusion of images that I have never experienced before. I am not disappointed. Your writing makes me care about the formation of a dragon. Something I can assure you I would not in real life be interested in. But your prose captures me with a unique rhythm and I find that I am drawn along at a marvelous pace as a supernatural being is birthed in the universe.
 
Structure and Clarity
 
The combination of an omnipotent point of view and the dialogue between the two entities as they are born together works wonderfully for me. I am able to easily follow clearly the formation of something that is incomprehensible and unbelievable in my natural mind. Like this line: “All I know, is that they called you by the name `Diamondraskyro` because you were prophesied to resemble a sky of diamonds and that you would be one half of a whole that would allow the universe to grow and evolve safely.” Is this beyond my understanding? Yes. But this line opens my mind to a whole world where the ways of being are radically beyond the scientific and yet are believable. Well done.
 
Edits/Revisions
 
There were a couple of places where the use of commas would have been appropriate should you edit or rewrite. Your punctuation is nearly perfect so the minor adjustments will no doubt occur through the natural course of your rewrite. Other than that I did not find any place within the story where I would recommend edits or revisions.
 
Summary
 
Through Diamondraskyro’s story I am introduced with great skill and visual impact into the Adorian universe where a 1,000 years of peace is about to be created. The being that is formed defies the comprehension of the human mind and yet I can see and experience the amazing birth of the dragon that will guarantee peace.
 
Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your story. It was wonderfully written and a joy to read!
 
~Kenword~
 
 
 
   This review is given in honor of:

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .