I selected your story to review through the Random Read Forum of WdC.
 
It was a real pleasure reading your work and I am glad to give you some impressions I have of your piece as well as a short review.
 
My review is based solely on my opinion and feelings. While I may suggest some structural alterations, I prefer to lend my feelings and impressions about a story in the hopes that they may be of some help and encourage further thought about what has been created. Please take what you think is appropriate for your work and disregard the rest.
 
Overall Impression
 
The “Mist” is a story of Bivian and his journey into the resting place of trespassing dreamers. They are doomed to dream until they die of old age. Their fate has been sealed by the owner of the land they have trespassed. To rescue his father the man must meet the Mist Knight in combat. I am caught up in the story and the universal theme of redemption. There is always a price for redemption and those who step into the arena to fight for justice are my greatest heroes. This is a heroic story told with great feeling and animation.
 
Interest and Pace
 
Bivian rescuing his father from a punishment he probably deserves is classic and makes a great story with compelling interest for me. I am drawn into a foreign place and my imagination is allowed to wander through a field of skeletons and life-suspended bodies that will not be revived. I am urged by each image to keep reading and I find satisfaction as the well chosen words illicit fear, anxiety and wonder as the story unfolds. I am delighted with the introduction of the woman who owns the land. She appears in the story right at the perfect moment to clarify the mystery and set up the trial by combat.
 
Structure and Clarity
 
The writing is fiercely concise and the images are pleasing and compelling all at the same time. The variation between narrative, thoughts and dialogue is well done and every word conveys images that push the story forward. I find the combat scene to be especially well written. It was easy to understand how Bivian could fight something mystical and still come out the victor.
 
Edits/Revisions
 
There is no editing or revision that I would suggest for this story.
 
Summary
 
The woman laughed, barely more than a whisper. "My dreamers are not dead, foolish one. They sought to steal my power, so I punish them by taking the power of their dreams. They eventually grow old and die and cease to dream, but it is by their own mortality, not my hand." The dialogue between the woman and Bivian is my favorite part. I especially appreciate how the secrets within the story are revealed through the character interaction.
 
Thank you for the opportunity to read and review your story. It was a great read.
 
Cheers!
 
~Kenword~
 
 
 
   This review is given in honor of:

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AFaith's Unofficial Account BDay Event  (E) CLOSED - My UAB R/CE Starts November 1st! Come help me celebrate by showing thanks! #1955910 by A*Monaing*Faith

 

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .