I chose your story to read from the Read A Newbie Forum of Writing.com.

It is my pleasure to welcome you to WdC. This is a great forum for those who want to be a part of a writing community that is supportive as well as creative. I enjoyed reading your story and I am glad to offer my impressions and a short review of your work.
 
My review is based solely on my opinion and feelings. While I may suggest some structural alterations, I prefer to lend my feelings and impressions about a story in the hopes that they may help and encourage. Please take what you think is appropriate for your work and disregard the rest.
 
Overall Impression
 
There is a brutal war in operation that perpetuates the enslavement of boys from the land of Senin. The boys of that land are victimized by those who come and recruit soldiers at will. Nothing can stop them and every Senin boy's destiny is to be used as fodder in the war machine. There are two strongly created characters, Rehan and Pieter. They are orphans, but are watched over by the butcher Reed, in whose shop Rehan has been employed and where they share the last two week's of Rehan's freedom.
 
Interest and Pace
 
Rehan’s character is wonderfully developed and is a great contrast to his brother Pieter whose innocence and trust in his older brother is magnetic and a centerpiece for the story. The tension in the two weeks before Rehan’s fourteenth birthday builds beautifully, Those two weeks passed like a breath. I couln’t do anything to slow it down, make it last longer, not because I was agraid of what came next but because I worried. Pieter would be alone. I am caught up in Rehan's challenge of living life with some normalcy, while preparing for an unfair future.
 
Structure and Clarity
 
I appreciate the sights, sounds, feelings and emotions you have woven into your narrative. I can visualize the cruel realities of “occupation” by hostile forces. I feel the despair of engaging with soldiers that cannot be stopped. The official officer, the recruiter, with his shabby appearance, but no nonsense deportment, is especially well done and adds believability to your tale of heartless war. Every paragraph moves the story forward efficiently, enticing me to care more about Rehan, Pieter and Reed.
 
Edits/Revisions
 
There may be some minor punctuation edits that need to be made when you decide to do a re-write. These edits will make your story grammatically correct, but those issues did not detract from my understanding of your words and images. I was not aware of any other revisions that would improve your story.
 
Summary
 
War is in itself, heartless and cruel, but add to it the conscription and enslavement of young boys into a “war machine” and the universe becomes an even darker place to exist. In the story “This Is War” the author paints a dramatic picture of yet more of war’s evils and the real live individuals who try to hold on to hope despite the inevitable tragedy unfolding before them.
 
I enjoyed the emotions that your story stirred up in my heart and soul. Your writing invoked responses from all of my senses and kept me hoping for a happier outcome for Rehan and Pieter.
 
Well done!
 
~Kenword~
 
 
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