I selected your story to review through the Read a Newbie Forum of WdC.
It is my pleasure to welcome you to Writing.com where I believe your work will be received with great appreciation.
 
It was a real pleasure reading your work and I am glad to give you some impressions I have of your piece as well as a short review.
 
My review is based solely on my opinion and feelings. While I may suggest some structural alterations, I prefer to lend my feelings and impressions about a story in the hopes that they may be of some help and encourage further thought about what has been created. Please take what you think is appropriate for your work and disregard the rest.
 
Overall Impression
 
Freddie “The Good Fighter” is a man tied to a destiny by both his heritage and the spirit. His grandfather was the first Native American Indian to compete as a boxer in the Olympics. While the story is about the sport of boxing on one level, there is another level that is about having the perseverance, stamina, boldness and courage to live life in a way that honors one’s heritage and ancestry while being a role model for the coming generations.
 
Interest and Pace
 
The story of Freddie and his heritage is an engaging one. Having the main character supported by his immediate family and the grandfather who went to the Olympics as a boxer, has great appeal for those who believe in community, leadership, fatherhood and morality. The fight scenes where Freddie’s dad Gary is coaching and encouraging his son are particularly well written and filled with the flavor of the sport of boxing. I believe the narrative has the right pace for the theme of your story and I appreciate the amount of action that is written into your work.
 
Structure and Clarity
 
The plot is clear and is built nicely around the characters of Gary and Freddie and their opponent Larry. I particularly enjoyed the paragraph where Freddie draws on a source for “fight” from deep in his spirit. As he takes on the qualities of the wolf I am fully engaged in the fight myself and I begin willing Freddie to draw from his own nature to strike his opponent down. The story has the universal message for me, at this moment, that every battle in life requires me to use all of my inherent strength, and then when that is not enough, draw on the spirit.
 
Edits/Revisions
 
There were a few typographical errors in your first two paragraphs that you will want to correct on a re-write of your story. I enjoyed the conciseness of the narrative and your use of dialogue was very strong and believable. At the same time I would have liked to have seen more detail. What does Freddie and Gary look like? What did the medal look like? Perhaps adding sounds, smells, tastes and colors to the story would lend elements of surprise and emotion.
 
Your story or course is well done and these suggestions are just some of my own feelings about the piece.
Summary
 
Like the wolf, powerful and fierce, Freddie strikes down his opponent in a fight that takes on more significance than that of a stepping stone to the Olympics. "...finally Freddie started to growl and show his teeth like a wolf would do, and then their were women singing, flutes playing and drums in the back of Freddie's mind,..." I am compelled by the images in this one sentence to see the fight as the turning point of Freddie's life. As he becomes a father and a grandfather he too is prepared to represent the Apache people with courage and pride as his legacy to his people.
 
A wonderful, action packed read.
 
Thank you!
 
~Kenword~
 
 
 
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