Greetings Shaye
 
I selected your story  "Invalid Item"  to review while following some links on WdC.
 
I enjoyed reading your story and I am glad to give you some impressions I have of your piece as well as a short review.
 
My review is based solely on my opinion and feelings. While I may suggest some editorial revisions, I prefer to lend my feelings and impressions about a story in the hopes that they may be of some help and encourage further thought about what has been created. Please take what you think is appropriate for your work and disregard the rest.
 
Overall Impression
 
Scarlet is a detective with the kind of special skills that make her a natural stalker and hunter of bad guys. In fact hunting is one of her gifts, since this skill is required for her survival. I found the story quirky and ironic because of the illusions to blood and the need for sustenance. As a first time reader of this genre it was oddly intriguing and challenging at the same time.
 
Interest and Pace
 
Scarlet is a great character. She as a character is well conceived and deliciously created. My first introduction to a vampire heroine, I am all yours. You can tell me anything about her and I am most likely going to believe you as you bring her out of my dark nightmares into the light of serving on a city police force. Her abilities to sense things defies all of her appearance of being human. The fact that she is hated by most of her colleagues works to set Scarlet apart, not just for super natural reasons. The flow of your story is well done, and I am not left to wonder about things too long. The story unfolds with a purpose that is evident in each picture you created and the irony of certain parts makes me laugh.
 
Blood on her partner’s finger, rather than awakening any maternal instincts, more correctly represents hunger and a lust for feeding. I am still shivering from that scene.
 
Structure and Clarity
 
I enjoyed the first person narrative. The story feels natural from the beginning and the introduction of the supernatural is smoothly done, and while I’m surprised, your writing convinces me that this is all quite normal. If you knew my background you would surely be impressed by your great talent!
 
Edits/Revisions
 
There were three minor edits which I have detailed in the drop box at the link below. I only have one question and this comes from older legions of vampires and may no longer be relevant in modern stories, can vampires see themselves in mirrors? It’s kind of a silly thing to remember from a hundred years ago, but the mind is a funny thing – what it remembers and what it forgets.
 
Recommended Edits ▼
 
Summary
 
Not all detectives have mundane skills and lives. Some have endless days to pursue their gifts and talents. This is the world Scarlet is a part of and she is a force against the bad guys. She is partnered with a guy who is willing to be more in her life, but presents the quandary of how close can a vampire be with her human friends.
 
I truly enjoyed your story. I have to say that I was surprised, but I know it was the quality of your writing that made it work for me.
 
Thanks,
 
~Kenword~
 
 
 
   This review is given in honor of:

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .