First off, what little kid doesn't dream about finding a hidden world in a forest? That by itself is one of the most endearing parts of this story. Further, as a prologue to a longer story, it is effective: it sets up the background for the story, introduces the character, and hints at what is to come, all without being a boring infodump. I am genuinely curious about what the story after the prologue will be, especially if Jefferson will have a larger role in the rest of the story.

I particularly like the first sentence -- it draws the reader in with a hint of the coming conflict.

However, I have some trouble with the narration. The majority of the story is told in the first person, but it didn't seem entirely authentic to someone who actually experienced what was being described. For example, I don't know of anyone who would say "I clutched my robe around my frame." They would almost always say "body." I just had some trouble thinking that it was someone telling her own story.

As part of the overall prologue, I didn't see the point of the last paragraph. It didn't really add any information that could not be discovered/included in future chapters, and it had no real connection to the rest of the prologue.

"...the sun finally disappeared behind the horizon, plunging me into darkness." -- Now, nitpicking: that makes it sound like the sun flips on and off like it's attached to a light switch. I've always known there to be a longer period of twilight before the sky goes completely dark after sunset, and when you're surrounded by a forest, you can't actually see the horizon, so the twilight period is usually more indeterminate. Just saying.

Formatting: On the computer, I find that reading a story is easier if there is an extra blank line between each paragraph. Otherwise, it looks like a single block of text without end. Also, I'll assume you didn't intend to bold the entire story. To bold just the title at the top, you would need to write {b}Prologue{/b} (opening tag, desired text, closing tag), which would give you Prologue.

I hope you continue the story. It has a lot of potential for where you can take it. And remember that all the above is just my opinion -- take it or leave it as your heart desires.

         May you always,