Hi there abcoachnz-Sometimes around ! "Gasp!" Your being reviewed by a newbie! I am reviewing

The Candle  (13+) Contest entry to {item:1935914} #1951425 by abcoachnz-Sometimes around

General Impressions This story was well written. Please allow me to tell you about what the stages of illusion you ran me through until the end. First I see daylight and am happy I provide an inner light to giants. Next I see: "Looking round me on my new surface, eight of my friends are lined up in military precision, three abreast in three rows." It makes me change my vision to eight under ground missiles raising up to be launched and then they are launched. Now one by one they drop or are being guided to their targets. Now this is the illusion I picked up and am running with so far. Now at this point I'm totally confused as to where is the candle or are the missiles the candles as they light up the atmosphere as they go to their targets then explode and go out. I read on now the giants start talking and I'm confused all over again then I see the last three words and like a light bulb coming on in my brain the confusion goes away and I see that all this time I was totally miss lead.

Favorite Parts Without warning there is a glow starting to spread all through and round me. Our lights have been turned on and all of us shiver in anticipation, sending dark smoke twirling up to the sky high above us. I give another shiver, loving the way the flame waves back and forth, its smoke, now white and even, forming circles and squares and wavy designs up to the ceiling. {c;borange} I really liked this part it was what totally confused me and gave me a different illusion to see this description of action.

Plot You know with just the title and the story to go on, I really don't know what the plot was.

Characters You really didn't describe the characters to match the title. The giants were pretty vague as well until the last. I kept confusing them as the missiles.

Setting The setting was confusing as well half the time I thought we were in outer space orbiting the planet looking for the target to destroy.

Dialog Since it was first person it was all dialog you told an interesting story a bit confusing but then again you might have designed it that way on purpose to add a twist to it at the end.

Presentation I found no grammar or spelling errors in it. Just presentation. To be the best of the best or a professional we all do certain things a certain way, and that is line spacing between paragraphs, indents at the beginning of each paragraph. A professional is an attitude not a degree some one gives to you. I tell you this because I know your a pro and I think you should show it to the world as well!

Please remember that you are best judge of what is right for your story Whatever another person says -- especially me -- whether positive or negative, is just their opinion You are the only one who can decide what is right for your story.

Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece. Please keep on writing more things just like this!







My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .