Overall Impressions:

I chose this poem because I remember this contest and I was curious what you wrote. I also figured it'd be a great opportunity for me to practice critiquing poetry so bear with me as I go through each poetic device as I learn my flow.

My overall impression is that this poem shows a great overview of a breakup in great detail with few words. Simple as that. And poetry that can accomplish that is some of the best.


Form:


The appearance of the poem is structured and neat.
It is 3 stanzas containing 4 lines each.


Rhythm:


I could not tell whether there was an actual "named" meter to this piece, it seemed to be a mix of all four different types of meters that I'm learning about in my poetry courses right now. That's not bad thing of course, just an observation.

There were also no set syllables per line that I could tell.

That being said, none of those things ruined this poem at all, it still seemed to flow very well to me.

Even as I read it out loud it still felt like it had a nice rhythm and flow to it though. Nice job.

Rhyme and Rhyme Scheme:


You had me fooled on the rhythm at first I thought it was going to be a/b/a/b all the way through because of the first stanza but only the second and fourth lines of each stanza rhymed.

Imagery:


This was the best part of this poem. In the first stanza I could feel the bonds begin to break down.

The second stanza is when the beginning of the end begins to build, crying fighting, the hurt due to the realization that its over.

Then the third stanza I can see one party's mind is simply made up about it and they refuse to see things any other way. They are simply done, say what they have to say, and walk out the door.

The theme was obviously heartbreak, but the mood grew darker in each stanza. I enjoyed that.


Favorite Parts:

I think my most favorite parts are:



This first stanza was very vivid for me because I could sense the realization that they just didn't feel the same and their attitude was changing whether they liked it or not, their heart just wasn't in it anymore.

I also enjoyed:



I can just see this persons arms crossed and words not even reaching their ears, they've said what they've had to say. Ouch.

Suggestions:

I don't have any real suggestions for this poem, I would like to see it longer and more filled out but that's simply because I enjoyed the imagery and we never like the things we enjoy reading to end!


Additional Comments:

It's wonderful how much of a punch you were able to pack into such a short poem. Though I love writing poetry I'm not usually a fan of reading it because everyone's style is different, some are easy to understand, others not so much. Yours was simple yet provided a full range of emotion for a breakup. Wonderful job.


I enjoyed reading your work and hope my review was helpful and encouraging!!!

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