Hey Elle - on hiatus . I'm here with a review for this story for "The Kiwi Review Challenge! - closed" . Please note that this review represents my views as a reader and is not meant to offend in any manner.


I remember when this prompt was posted, and I was so stumped about the prompt. I read this story then too, but never got around to reviewing it. The story shows Sophia and her mother trying to live in poverty when her mother is taken to be tried for being a witch.

As a plot, this falls a bit short as I always thought that there will be something more to the story. It only shows a small scene with a little tension. I'd have pegged this as more of a background story of a character whose final story is yet to come, something like a prologue.


Sophia and her mother are shown. The traits that I come across in this story is their love for each other, their poverty, Sophia's fear for being alone after that, and her fearful certainty that her mother won't return.



The timeperiod is clear only by the reference of the witch. Neither the location, dresses or food show the period more. Since it's a historical story, I expected more of these details. But then they don't take anything away from this scene.


Perfect!


The story is quite well-done. There were a few errors I noted. These are highlighted in the dropnote below.

Detailed Edit Points ▼


My favorite part was when you described the reason the streets were empty and compared it with the past Sophia and Jeanne's action. That small detail showed the fear of the whole town. Also I enjoyed the word play in the beginning, especially
trying to squeeze just a little bit more life from the faded rags.


As I said, this story left me wondering what's going to happen next, which means that it didn;t feel like it ended. I know that word limits bond a person's hand but you still had the room for few more scenes in the story. Also, now since the contest has ended, you can try expanding it.

Hope this review helps you in some manner.

Keep Writing!

** Image ID #1929855 Unavailable **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .