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Review #3978216
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by A Guest Visitor
Review by Witchy Woman Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Review number # 4 of week April 10-16

Hi Darleen,

My name is Lyn and I doing a review for Simply Positive.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! I have only my humble opinion to offer; please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: Do Not Step Blindly Into That Light

First Impression: Ahhh, she likes Dylan Thomas. Now, I am curious

What I liked: The flow of the poem and the rhyming sequence felt natural

What needs your attention: This one line jumps out at me each time I read it-Focused only on their ignorant victims and their outs and ins
Maybe this work better. Focused on their ignorant victims, their fears weighed in. Just food for thought since outs and ins sounds so odd. I realize the intent but it still just jumps out at me.

Favorite Parts: Bloodless men that have fallen into an endless blight
Charming and demure their true nature hidden by grins
The images you have created are awesome, I can just see their evil leers as they wait for their victims. It is a spine tingling image, wicked cool!

Overall Impression: You did an excellent job. I am sure Dylan Thomas would be happy to know he inspired you.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my pleasure!
Lyn


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