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Review #3980676
Viewing a review of:
 Drugged, Abducted, Murdered Open in new Window. [13+]
murder story :)
by lottebaxter Author Icon
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)

Hi Lottebaxter!
Well, this certainly horror, and it's written very well. My only problem with it is that you don't give a premise, or a motive (if you will) as to why the character did such a terrible thing to this girl. Don't get met wrong-your description, spelling, and punctuation were excellent, and you obviously have talent. But my point is that's there's no back story, nor a true ending.
I'd love to see some of your other stories if you get around to writing them. But just remember, there has to be 'cause' to have an 'effect'.
One niggle, and 2 compliments:
'...ready to haul my victim inside(,) but somehow when I was driving she had undone her taped wrists(’) . (need that 1st comma, but you don't neecd that last apostrophe)
'...fighting like a mouse caught by a cat.' (excellent simile!)
'...like a crocodile catching its dinner.' (another excellent one!)
Kee ponw ritin gon, Lottebaxter, and welcome to WdC!

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