Take Your Son to Work [E] A Bank Robber takes his son to work with him. My first attempt at dialogue |
THIS IS A REVIEW RAOK UPGRADE BRIGADE Group Title:Take Your Son To Work Author:BBWolf Type:short story Reviewed by: ~Lisa~ First impression: Hello BBWolf, I am reviewing this because you requested a review, this was a good practice in dialogue writing, this was a cute little story where the bank robber brings his kid to work with him, only to be constantly interrupted by the child and when the police finally arrived the cop's son was also doing the bring you kid to work deal. very comical situation. dialogue conversation was good. What I liked most: “Hand over the money or I’ll-“ “Daddy! Where’s the bathroom?” “It’s over by the two security guards that I knocked out earlier.” “Thanks Daddy.” “Right. Now where was I? Oh yeah. Hand over the money or I’ll-“ “Daddy! Can we go for ice cream?” suggestions: I have no suggestions there were no mistakes. In conclusion: Thank you for sharing You keep writing and I'll keep reading, God Bless You. My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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