Hi Mia - craving colour

My name is Ken and I chose to review your item today as part of my review challenge at the "Invalid Item" . It is my pleasure to both read and comment on your work "Invalid Item" .

First Impression/Thoughts:
Hmmm. I wonder why I haven't run across you before? My misfortune, I guess This was a beautifully written, deeply emotional piece.

Creativity/Impact:
I think most readers will identify with this; there's always an undertone of sadness that holidays seem to evoke and I think you've tapped into that feeling with your writings here, although this is centered on your feelings about the impending loss of your father. I think, as you work your way through those feelings, you uncover the larger, more generalized feelings that so many experience.

Message/Theme:
This was less about a message and more about working through your own feelings. The generalized theme of holiday memories bringing to the surface the change that time brings, raising those emotions of happier times that seem lost, that linger unresolved. As you said, "a desire to celebrate without heartache; a wish for deliverance without loss."

Technique/Technical Notes:
I offer you the following as food for thought and not as criticism. You are the writer and this is your work, not mine. The most I can do is tell you what I saw and felt as I meandered through your words .

Title - "Shadows" - The title is the first thing that prospective readers will see. I thought your title was a bit ominous, foreshadowing the darker emotions that you've woven into your write. I'm sure some will look just to see what you're talking about. You did incorporate the title into the content as well, making the connection clear, which I thought was an excellent use.

Grammar/Wording - I think, overall, you chose words that conveyed the sorrow and loss you felt. They were well thought out words that supported the theme and created the emotional depth you were trying to express.

Form/Flow - Well written, without errors. You approached the structure of the write logically and developed your theme through out. It was an easy read, without confusion.

Emotion/Imagery - Certainly, the emotional depth of this is the centerpiece of your write. You used your imagery of past events to contrast with your current situation which only deepened the feelings here.

Overall Rating/Final Thoughts:
I can't say I really enjoyed reading this from an emotional point of view. That said, your feelings and emotions came through clearly as I accompanied you on this journey. Thank you for sharing your vision and talent with me today.

Writing is about communication and this is what I saw in your work and is provided solely for your use. It's offered in a spirit of wanting to give you honest feedback... nothing more.

Keep writing! Wishing you all the best,

Ken

You responded to this review 04/27/2014 @ 6:30pm EDT

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