Review number # 6 of week May 1-7, 2014

Hi Luna

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! I have only my humble opinion to offer; please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: White Feathers, I was curious

First Impression: I was wondering if the author was thinking of an angels beautiful wings when it was written.

What I liked: These particular lines, " I can feel the powerful and graceful white feathers
that cover and allow my soul to remain light and pure are stronger than ever" create a beautiful image in mind of the struggle between good and evil. I hope bitterness never fills the author because life is too short to miss any moment with sadness.

What needs your attention: Visually, I think your poem would look more powerful if it was centered on the page so it jumps at the reader versus just lying on the edge. I think there could be more descriptive visions of the white feathers to enhance your struggle.

Favorite Parts: The fragileness of the soul trying to resist the power of evil, life is always about challenges to preserve our innocence when there are some many evil and corrupt paths waiting for us to flounder upon.

Overall Impression: I loved the image of the white feathers, I would have enjoyed more descriptive details enhancing the battle of good versus evil. I see potential in this poem, I hope the author comes back to it.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my pleasure!
Lyn




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .