Hello, Brom! This is a Simply Positive Review.

Your story portrays the upheaval in the life of a child when having to move to a new place in a different town. The anxiety does spike and it is made clear through the voice of your character, Matthew.

Observations:

" a densely populated suburb was one of the most tedious and laborious tasks of living of my teenage years."

"Modern affairs?-(W)ould you be referring to the thefts, domestic disturbances, and nosy neighbors?"
(eliminate the - )

"I can’t just find my golf clubs." I just can't find my golf clubs. OR, simply say: I can't find my golf clubs.

"Mommy, will there be forests at our new home too?”

"As I looked at the inside of the empty house, I never [realized] how many memories I would be leaving behind."

"What baffled me was how the rest of my family could say good bye [goodbye] so easily."

"Mind if I barrowed her?" [borrowed]

This was a cute read about a kid, not unlike the character, Ralphie, in A Christmas Story. It hits the nostalgia button on a reader's emotions. He has a bit of wit, lots of imagination and easily makes his character come alive with his dialogue. However, there needs to be some more editing to make this story shine.

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch









My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .