Hello and good evening, beetle ! I am Jessica and I'll be reviewing Unstoppable which is a prompt that uses lyrics from Unstoppable by Twiztid  . Please remember these are only my opinions; feel free to use whatever you find helpful!

First Impressions:
Unstoppable is one of my favorite songs by Twiztid and I think this story captures Monoxide's lyrics perfectly. I could feel the tension, an argument, and someone not giving up despite the odds. I remember feeling that way in November when this song became my anthem and the feelings of desperation perfectly. You did a great job with this prompt.

Overall Thoughts:
I like your take on the lyrics; I would have never thought of a boxing match! I think it's perfect. I thought Unstoppable read mostly well, but I noticed in some areas where things were awkward or sounded off. Let me show you a few instances (I have more comments on the one I printed out, I'll scan them and send them to you in an e-mail):

“Relatively doesn’t mean actually, Reen.”

“—and I’m pretty sure that if I keep her dancing and land some quick blows, I can—”

“You can what? Babe, she’s never been defeated in her professional career! Never!” Diana uncrossed her arms and ran her hands up into the tangly thicket of her curly hair, tugging on it in frustration. I felt bad for putting her through this, but I was iron. I was steel. I wasn’t gonna be moved. Not even by my best girl.

“There’re some people out there that think I’m pretty damn good, myself,” I said—meant to say confidently, but it just came out small and hurt. Diana stopped tugging on her hair to search my eyes then sighed and crossed the room, sitting next to me as she grabbed my taped right hand. Hers was cool against my hot, puffed flesh.

Other than that, I thought everything else read well; however, it wouldn't hurt to go back to proofread to make sure you're conveying all you want to convey!

Rating:
***

Final Thoughts:
You did a great job! I feel like tweeting this story to Twiztid now to show them your interpretation on their song. It's also inspiring me to write my own. Keep up the great work and write on! Can't wait to read more! NIGHT!



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .