Welcome to WDC! "A sample to see if I like it," huh? Well, I hope that you do like it and decide to stick around.

Some things I Like:

This is a super short "sample". Six short sentences don't provide much to review, but I thought that you might like to see what the review system is like here on WDC.

I think that what you wrote is an interesting start, for what it is. I was hoping to find out if the "ride" was real or metaphorical. It's a shame that you didn't continue it just a little longer.

Observations & Suggestions:

The grammar isn't exactly on-point, but I assume this was a fast piece that you jotted down without editing. You're missing some commas, and "Woohoo" is usually a phrase that would use an exclamation point. I wont harp on the grammar though.

If you continue with this piece, I would strongly recommend varied sentence structure. These lines are about as much as I can take of the short, choppy, simple sentences. For an energetic opener, it works, but if you extend it, that energy would get obnoxious pretty quickly.

I also couldn't help but notice this sequence:

Going for a ride. All our dreams are about to come true. ____________. We did it!

Notice that blank? It's blank because nothing happened between the "about to" and the "we did it".

So... this is what reviews that you might receive on WDC will look like. Of course, this is all a bit nitpicky and basic because there isn't much content to review here. If you add to, edit, or delete and create a new story, I would be more than happy to give you a "real" review of your writing. Cheers!






My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .