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SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  (E) A group whose mission is to spread positivity. #1384154 by Simply Positive

Hello Jess,

Wow! Another campfire round and another challenge you've risen to with skill and panache! I am so impressed. The form you were asked to write for this one -- The Roundel -- is an intricate one but you've produced an excellent example that flows beautifully. With only two different rhyme sounds to play with you've shown real creativity with your choice of rhyme words. I particularly like the line-end rhymes in your final stanza.

You write with a light touch which makes this poem a joy to read. At the same time you deal with a rather dark subject matter -- Western culture's obsession with super skinny models as fashion icons. I personally find this very disturbing and tragic -- this unhealthy, unrealistic and unattainable 'ideal' of female beauty has devastated so many lives and caused unnecessary misery and suffering. I could write lots more on the issue but a poetry review isn't the place to do it! I will say however that I thought you would write on this kind of subject when you told me you were given 'fashion' as the genre part of your prompt. I'm glad you did because it's an important subject.

Your language choices in this poem, especially in your description of how the model's bones 'jut right through / ...skin' and also your powerful refrain really reveal the horror of what you're describing. 'Smeared' is used to great effect too.

I love your phrase, 'draped-silk skin'. That really stood out for me. As well as the image it conveys, I love its subtle alliteration; a poetic technique you also use to excellent effect in a couple of other places ('surely snap' and 'wonderful and weird').

For the convention part of the prompt this time you were given onomatopoeia and you use this well with 'clip', 'clop' and 'snap!', the latter of which made me wince a little I must admit. This was just one more tool you made maximum use of to draw your readers into your poem to the extent that they not only see what you're describing but feel it too. Damn, I find it hard not to get jealous of your talent

The form of this poem with its fixed rhyme scheme, the various poetical devices you use within that form, and your natural ear for how words fit together make this an excellent poem to read aloud.

You've described this as not being amongst your best work. Well even if it isn't it's still a fantastic showcase for a wide range of your skills as a poet. Also if it isn't up there with your very, very best then that only goes to show what an incredibly, dizzyingly high standard the best of your work achieves.

Can't find any fault with this at all. You can take even dark and disturbing subjects and turn them into beautiful, sublime art. That's a very special gift.

Can't wait to read what you come up with for the next round!

Love and hugs,
Mark {e;kiss}


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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .