Hello, I am PandaPaws and I am reviewing this piece as part of the Simply Positive Group!

How I found your piece...This is the first of the three reviews you won in the Zodiac Auction!

First impressions...I really like this poem. You crafted a wonderful story in poem form and it works wonderfully. This is awesome.

Was the title interesting...I choose the three that I am reviewing by their titles. I loved the mystery of the title. I didn't know whether things were going to come up from the ground or what. I enjoyed the poem very much the title was very fitting. Great job!

Was the content rating appropriate...13+ was spot on for this piece.

Did you use a specific form of poetry...you listed it as 11 beats per line but no particular form.

Did you follow the form...You did very well with the form until the last line. There seems to be 12 beats in the final line instead of 11.

Was there a rhyme scheme- what was it...aabb.

Did the rhymes seem forced...You did extremely well with this, all the rhymes fit nicely together and are not forced at all.

Were words forced to fit syllable count...not at all, again the sentences/lines fit and work well together.

Was there rhythm and flow...There is flow and a very nice flow at that. Your poem does not come off as sing-song at all.

Any errors in grammar, spelling, or punctuation...I noted no errors in these areas.

Things I would change...I think I would use the word completely instead of entirely in the final line. That way you have 11 beats and alliteration.
Also, it was common practice to capitalize the first word in every line, however it is now common practice to follow grammar rules with capitalization.

Favorite parts/lines...These were my favorite, heart-breaking lines

When they finally found her on an icy day,
Her son was revealed, trapped under her decay.


Excellent Job!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .