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Given: Aug 11, 2014 at 10:58pm
Length: 845 Characters |
811 w/o WritingML
Hi Noyoki. It's 💙 Carly - aka Joan Watson doing my raid of your portfolio. I have been here before and I was only happy to return. As I am starting this challenge on the later side, I am focusing on poetry and short fiction pieces - this one fit the bill perfectly. I chose to review your short flash fiction piece "The Choices We Make" and I was very impressed.
Wow. A moving piece. With such a small amount of words, you managed to convey raw emotion. I felt the depth of their experience.
There were a few spots that tripped me up - "fleet heart" - I would have just gone with 'beating heart', but that is only personal preference. I also tripped over 'harsh breaths' and would have preferred 'harsh breathing' but there again it is preference.
Beyond those two things the piece dragged me in and I was captured by the impact. Well done.
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