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Review #4025952
Viewing a review of:
 The Choices We Make Open in new Window. [13+]
Down in the darkness, decisions must be made.
by Noyoki Author Icon
In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Noyoki Author IconMail Icon. It's 💙 Carly - aka Joan Watson Author IconMail Icon doing my raid of your portfolio. I have been here before and I was only happy to return. As I am starting this challenge on the later side, I am focusing on poetry and short fiction pieces - this one fit the bill perfectly. I chose to review your short flash fiction piece "The Choices We MakeOpen in new Window. and I was very impressed.

Wow. A moving piece. With such a small amount of words, you managed to convey raw emotion. I felt the depth of their experience.

There were a few spots that tripped me up - "fleet heart" - I would have just gone with 'beating heart', but that is only personal preference. I also tripped over 'harsh breaths' and would have preferred 'harsh breathing' but there again it is preference.

Beyond those two things the piece dragged me in and I was captured by the impact. Well done.

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 08/17/2014 @ 2:18am EDT
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