What a wonderful setting! Reminiscent of old 50's Hollywood movies before the world got smaller and before travel became much more accessible to the rest of us peasants:) where they'd depict a love story in a faaaar away land. That's how it felt to me anyway, so good choice of scenery.

This chapter has a nice rhythm and decent enough structure, although I'm unsure if this is a first or second etc chapter? If it's a first, it will need something with a bit more hook and oompf at the start. It needs to give the reader race-time nerves!

The dialogue seems to run nicely as you place 'actions' between speech to tell the reader naturally who is speaking and at which time. This means that I wasn't confused by who was saying what despite there being few 'he said/she said's'. Some of the sentencing and grammar could use a little work between the dialogue though.

Some descriptive words are not right in this piece. For example; 'Neither of them moved until the sun rid the land of every trace of nightfall.'
the word 'nightfall' is synonymous with twilight or dusk. The word 'night' would have worked just fine and it's sometimes good to simplify things.

That can be dealt with in editing. Go over it many, many times and polish some of the things that don't quite sound right. Don't be afraid to take some stuff out either and watch out for protracted sentences – a particular hazard of mine btw.

Try also to use all five senses if you can. When you described what ingredients were in the cebiche, this was the perfect way to give the reader the chance to know what it tasted like to Ellie, rather than simply giving a list of ingredients. If she had tasted the onions, lettuce and sweetcorn... then as she savoured the yam, she found the seaweed and pepper sauce seep through onto her taste buds, the reader too would have just tasted a little bit of cebiche!

The best writers utilize all five senses and it holds the reader tighter to the story and the scene. What did Toby feel when Ellie rubbed sun lotion on the back of his neck? If there is a chance at romance, this would be a great opportunity to express his more secret feelings towards her, rather than it just being a necessary function. What does the sea smell like? (Hopefully not like Southend Pier and fish and chips haha) – describe that smell and what it reminds them of.

Back on the plus side, I love the way Toby uses words you wouldn't normally hear in a conversation, like Semantic or Latibule. Do some more of that with Toby as it gives him character. It says to me that he's subconsciously trying to impress the lady with his intelligence and knowledge, and it seems to be working, lol. We blokes are prone to being like that anyway, but maybe Ellie is humouring him because she likes him too?
Just be careful about using such words in your descriptions or with characters who it doesn't quite fit with as it may seem like too much use of the synonym button.

Hope this helps and I advise you to take my advise on advisement :) Get as many reviews as you can to get a full picture as I could well be talking garbage, but as I say, the over all feel of the story is great. It just needs a bit of polishing.

Keep writing and best of luck,
KJ

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .