\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4033711
Review #4033711
Viewing a review of: {citem:}
Review of  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
my review sig

Hello Nixie 🦊
This is a Simply positive Review! *Suitdiamond*

*Tagw* I'm also reviewing this item as a judge for the Bard's Hall.

*Apple* I adored the romantic flavor of your story. You chose appropriate ways to use the prompt words that were beyond the usual object definition. I like that. *Bigsmile*

*Baseball* Example: Using ice cream rather than an actual "baseball." " ...a baseball blob of ice cream oozing the plate."

I could picture the size of the ice cream on top of the pie, I could see it dribbling down from the melting by the heat of the pie. Very eye on the pie appealing! Great way to dispose of the "baseball" prompt word. *Teapotg*

I also liked your use of the word Chevrolet, being her stage name for her father's car sales business. Sweet! *Check*


Observation

"Chandra startled." Chandra was startled OR He startled Chandra.


*Bulletg* I couldn't help but think that the waitress scorned might adulterate their food in some way, since she seemed upset over hers and Devon's breakup. I don't think if I were Devon or Chandra for that matter once she knew they had a history, would want to take a chance eating there. My mind was picturing her spitting in the ice cream before serving it. *Sick* Perhaps that's just my own deviant mind, though. *Smirk*


I enjoyed the serenity of this hero, he was able to make Chandra feel relaxed, more human and less of a bottom-line commodity of her father's business.

Well done, especially since it made it in under the dealine by about two hours. *Shock*

Thanks for entering the contest -- and good luck!

Until next time--write on!

*Bigsmile*
WW





*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/02/2014 @ 2:19pm EDT
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4033711