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 Review #4034473 |
 | Invalid Item  [] |
| (4.5)| A Muse Masters Poetry Contest Review! In affiliation with Muse Masters  Your poem is being reviewed for the "Invalid Item" IMPORTANT NOTE: editing your item after submission is against the rules of the contest. If you edit your item, particularly after it's been reviewed, it will be disqualified from the contest. If I suggest an improvement and you make that improvement, the rating and judgement I awarded will no longer be valid. If I had to delete a poem from the contest, I would be sad.  So, please do not EDIT your item after judging! Thank you. Greetings Koyel~writing again  Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot. GENERAL: Hi there! Thank you for your entry to the contest. This is a pretty poem, and it has a gentle flow that makes it pleasant reading. The words definitely reflect the image, and I was drawn into the dreamy fantasy element. You spin a mysterious web around the lady in blue, and I have no complaints about the originality of your theme. You have a real talent for poetry. The narrator of this piece is describing the beauty of this divine lady who has all the elements of a bewitching siren, singing her mesmerizing tunes. The only thing I would suggest for the aesthetic appeal of your poem is to separate the body of the poem from the form description you've added. This is always a great idea, but when the two things all but merge, it takes away from the most important aspect -- your poem.  CONVENTION: This is a traditional-style form that calls for strict iambic tetrameter and rhyme scheme, and you've done an admirable job with both. Each line is perfect tetrameter, and you have some nice examples of iambic meter throughout that add to the elegance of your poem. There are a couple of awkward instances, but overall, you've done a great job with rhythm. You've included some sweet instances of sound repetition and simile.SUGGESTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT: There is little that I would suggest for improvement on your poem, but the final two lines of the second quatrain are just a little uneven. I think if you return to your poem and read through, you'll find where the up and down rhythm isn't as perfect. Other than that, I have no suggestions . FAVORITE LINE(S):  "The silver ball reflects a light,A beauty like the starry night." These are my favorite within the poem. This is an example of perfect iambic tetrameter. I love the use of language, and the simile "A beauty like the starry night" is quite vivid. It brings to mind a radiant and bejeweled goddess who radiates beauty. Also, the consonance in the first line with the "l" sound creates a smooth repetition. Nice job!   Thank you for sharing. Good luck with your writing endeavors, and I hope to see you back for the next round. Regards, Mandy Leader of Muse Masters Campfire Creative, Creator of Muse Masters Poetry Contest, Coordinator of The Lucky Leprechaun Raffle, co-founder of Passionate Mindscapes, and proud member of The Art of Criticism, The Traditional Poetry Group, Rising Stars, The Paper Doll Gang, Showering Acts of Joy, and The Poet's Place. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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