here there be dragons [13+] a decuain--I think of my muse as a dragon pushing me into more than I think I can do |
This is a neat poem form and new to me. I'm reviewing this as part of the Sr Mod Birthday Challenge. I like the idea behind this of slipping away and finding a dragon. Your word choices have captured a mystical quality. You've done a good job with following the form of a Decuain - 10 lines, 10 syllables each, and you've used a "ababbcbcaa" rhyme scheme. A few phrases struck me as odd and didn't flow as well as they might with a little tweaking: - "slipped beyond my sight" ... I'm not even sure what this means. Maybe "slipped beyond all sight" or "slipped past mortal sight" ?? - "and felt that touching" ... what did this fell like? Maybe "its rippling warmth" or "and it firm strength altered"?? - "to see with a new light" ... this struck me as somewhat cliche. Maybe "to see with dragon sight"?? I loved these lines: "my musings filled with dragons in the snow" "a dragon with his fire aglow" "and words that echo dreams of dragon flight" Nice poem! Cobe My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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