Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

Overall impression: This is like the slice of a dialogue as part of a longer story. As dialogue it is very good. The story element reveals the nature of the relationship between Savannah and Eric. I like the use of internal thought, and I think that even more could be added. I would suggest a few more internal tags be added.

Characterization: Savannah and Eric. I like this interchange between characters. It tells the story effectively.

Dialogue: The dialogue reads naturally and is realistic.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes ▼



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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .