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Review #4037165
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2 Haiku and Other Splashes of Color Open in new Window. [13+]
gardens,rainbows,and fairies
by turtlemoon-dohi Author Icon
Review by Grateful Jess Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Summertime and turtlemoon-dohi Author Icon! I hope you're having a nice September afternoon. *Bigsmile* I'm Grateful Jess Author Icon and I'll be reviewing Summertime's 2 Haiku and Other Splashes of Color. Please remember these are only my opinions to help improve upon Summertime's writing talents; feel free to take whichever suggestions you find the most helpful!

First Impressions:
Wow, Summertime, these haiku and your last poem are AWESOME. You have a lot of talent and an eye for detail. I really love "At the Creek" because it almost reminds me of a poem in the style for two voices. If you want, check out the book Joyful Noise: Poems for Two Voices by Paul Fleischman because it's a great way to learn more about nature poems. I can send a link to your grandmother.

Overall Thoughts:

Haiku:
*Bullet*Follows the traditional format well- 5,7,5 rule and it's about nature.
*Bullet*Beautiful imagery and wonderful detail.
*Bullet*Alliteration and clever arrangement of words.

"At the Creek":
*Bullet*Rhythm and flow is perfect - it reads like a song where it just flows off your tongue.
*Bullet*Imagery - it feels like I'm at a creek on a beautiful day. I can hear the water rushing and the sun shining down on me.
*Bullet*Clever arrangement of words.

I think if you check out poems for two voices, I think "At the Creek" could easily become one and it would be such a fun format to read with your friends. You and your friends could make it like a song or a dramatic reading. *Smile*

Final Thoughts:
Keep up the great work, Summertime! You really have a gift and I can't wait to read more of your work. I hope you have a great day! ~Jessica

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/10/2014 @ 7:58pm EDT
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