Please remember that the following comments and observations are only my opinions. Take what you can use, but never be shy about discarding what you cannot.

Overall impression: I enjoyed this story. The idea is used in an interesting way. The style is easy to read. I would suggest to add more details of the setting and to give more details of the lizards.

Characterization: Jergenson; Samuels; Higgens; James; Watson are the characters. The story is told about the characters. I would suggest for a short story to have few characters and add some details about each one. The story is interesting and the danger comes through. Emotion could be conveyed even stronger by having one of the characters tell the story.

Dialogue: I like the dialogue, and it advances the story.

Area(s) for improvement: I have some suggestions. notes ▼



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